Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
