He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
