His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
