Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
bring money and cleavage
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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