last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
