Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
