you're like a bully in the Christmas story
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So vagazzling was a success
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
