So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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