hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
