Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
