I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
