seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
