I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i barfeds in our rink
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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