she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize