she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
