How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
