o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
sex in a hospital.. check
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
