I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
