You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
