Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
