If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
