turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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