The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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