It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
