that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
