gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
