is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
