Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
