i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
