I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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