I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
