My hand turned me down
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
