I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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