ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
