i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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