try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
