I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
