Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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