I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We need to get me chipped asap
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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