I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
