My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i think my tv is drunk
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
