nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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