I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
