i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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