Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
