he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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