I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
