All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
