you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
