she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Is Oprah even human
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
