My brain says no but my pants say off.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
