This girl is more easily done than said...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
