Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
