Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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