She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
