I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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